I have been suffering from sleep deprivation recently.
I spring out of my bed with a jerk in the middle of the night. I know what causes the nightmare. The conference I am attending in August brings me tremendous anxiety these days.
Presentation gurus say nobody gets hurt nor will I be killed, even if I fail miserably. Although, my dull presentation puts the audience to eternal sleep, and the infuriated chairman, turned into a marksman, delivers a fatal shot between the eyes in my dream. I can’t believe what other people say about presentation failure. It means mental death to the presenter.
Watching a drama before going to bed is the best way to mitigate the fear so far. As I have to concentrate on the program to fully understand English, I forget about the conference and get off on the content. It helps me not to go mad with worry. However, it causes another concern: Shouldn’t I spend every waking hour preparing for the presentation? The combination of the fear of the conference and the guilt about the time spent watching a drama must create the peculiar dream every night.
Moreover, I have a vague feeling that the drama contributes to the dream’s contents. I prefer science fiction to comedy, which means there are adventure, conspiracy and battles, all the exciting events for getting a kick. That’s why I can forget everything and at the same time, get killed by a crack shot in my dream. I don’t know what to do, but I choose nightmares over sleepless nights, or else I would be depressed at the end of August.